Post by dchar23 on Aug 19, 2012 3:59:32 GMT -5
I have been having all these strange symptoms over the last several months... symptoms I also started to notice with my pets. They all would strike me as odd and I would take a mental snapshot of them, having this deep down suspicion that maybe all these "random" occurrences were not merely odd coincidences.
I looked at my google history and I've spent hours over the last few months googling various phrases from spider bites to skin cancer to scabies to schizophrenia to liver disease to flea treatments. I researched if there was such thing as a glitter bug or rainbow worm. I've spent money on vinegar and bleach and bug bombs and pet meds and new carpets & sheets, I've Ironed everything for bed bugs and bought exfoliating products and painted myself with a mouthwash/vinegar solution.
I was living in my godfather's RV temporarily while he was in the hospital dying of chirosis, so I new my surroundings were not very clean... plus two pets in a small space. So I thought maybe I was just experiencing an unfamiliar kind of camping lifestyle.
So when I found Morgellons online, I was at first overjoyed to learn that other people had experienced the same set of bizarre symptoms & that "I wasn't going crazy." That thought was nice until I reached the causes paragraph and CDC's recent conclusion.
And if they've concluded that about the rest of you, then there is no way in hell anyone is going to believe me for a millisecond. I have a history with mental health/behavioral issues (mainly drug addiction). I've never been suspected to have any type of delusional, psychotic or even obsessive disorder. Just depression and a magnetic draw to self destructive behaviors.
My problem is that I don't even want to attempt to get into it with a doctor because the second they know I've been to rehab and had issues with drugs, I fear they'll want to 5150 me or something. I would rather not be kept for psychiatric evaluation when I am 90 percent positive this is not a delusion. I say 90 because as an addict I've learned to never FULLY trust my own perception of reality because that's how my addict self takes over.
I know that even the normal person can convince themselves they have something if they think on it too long, so if I had read the symptoms and gone...oh yeah, I think I've had that, I would question my self-diagnosis. However, I documented these bizarre set of symptoms before having ever heard of anything like it.
Now I just don't know what my next steps are. I am very concerned about my dogs -- my Retriever seems like he could stop breathing any second. He's older and sleeping almost 24/7.
Please Advise. Thanks!!
I looked at my google history and I've spent hours over the last few months googling various phrases from spider bites to skin cancer to scabies to schizophrenia to liver disease to flea treatments. I researched if there was such thing as a glitter bug or rainbow worm. I've spent money on vinegar and bleach and bug bombs and pet meds and new carpets & sheets, I've Ironed everything for bed bugs and bought exfoliating products and painted myself with a mouthwash/vinegar solution.
I was living in my godfather's RV temporarily while he was in the hospital dying of chirosis, so I new my surroundings were not very clean... plus two pets in a small space. So I thought maybe I was just experiencing an unfamiliar kind of camping lifestyle.
So when I found Morgellons online, I was at first overjoyed to learn that other people had experienced the same set of bizarre symptoms & that "I wasn't going crazy." That thought was nice until I reached the causes paragraph and CDC's recent conclusion.
And if they've concluded that about the rest of you, then there is no way in hell anyone is going to believe me for a millisecond. I have a history with mental health/behavioral issues (mainly drug addiction). I've never been suspected to have any type of delusional, psychotic or even obsessive disorder. Just depression and a magnetic draw to self destructive behaviors.
My problem is that I don't even want to attempt to get into it with a doctor because the second they know I've been to rehab and had issues with drugs, I fear they'll want to 5150 me or something. I would rather not be kept for psychiatric evaluation when I am 90 percent positive this is not a delusion. I say 90 because as an addict I've learned to never FULLY trust my own perception of reality because that's how my addict self takes over.
I know that even the normal person can convince themselves they have something if they think on it too long, so if I had read the symptoms and gone...oh yeah, I think I've had that, I would question my self-diagnosis. However, I documented these bizarre set of symptoms before having ever heard of anything like it.
Now I just don't know what my next steps are. I am very concerned about my dogs -- my Retriever seems like he could stop breathing any second. He's older and sleeping almost 24/7.
Please Advise. Thanks!!