awake
Full Member
For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom.
Posts: 191
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Post by awake on Sept 14, 2009 5:44:56 GMT -5
Probably the most debilitating part of this for me other than the physical aspect has been the constant inability to organize my thoughts. Sometimes i prefer not to speak at all because words don't come out the way i was thinking... This is the no. 1 thing that distracts me from really seeking to talk with other about it...I am sure alot of other sufferer feel the some way sone this disease gets established. I tried to explan it early on in the affliction with a doctor - who to my expect outcome thought i was just "creating" the probelm. In the beginning they keep give me antidepressants utill i decided i had enough of the mis treatment about a year ago now. Every tmie i went back they wanted to renew my perscription for more for the same. It was like a tape repeating over and over again...ground hog day. Before morgellons i used to be able to do a lot more things, but i can't rely on my mind to storage things it seems. I know that this is the symptom no one understand or they are to afraid to mention it to a doctor. If it didn't affect the ability to "think" i believe it would be alot easier to fight and to keep a positive attitdue.
Awake
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Post by dixiehead on Dec 30, 2009 1:50:13 GMT -5
i understand the foggy thoughts problem so well. i don't even try anything new anymore. i wish that i never needed to leave the house because everything is so uphill now. i am afraid i am just losing my mind and this is the beginning stage of the disease. perhaps schizophrenia because the things i have seen are so unreasonable. i cry nearly every day now just trying to function. my skin is so ugly i avoid taking showers. i have seen first hand what happens to people in mental institutions that have no family like me. they are cruelly used and easy targets for staff to relieve themselves of their own personal stress through physical and verbal abuse- even emotional abuse at times. i am absolutely terrified of what lies ahead for me.
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awake
Full Member
For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom.
Posts: 191
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Post by awake on Dec 30, 2009 9:51:33 GMT -5
The best thing to do in this situation is to avoid contact with regular doctors altogether. In the beginning of this afflcition when i was new to the affects of it i sought help from medicine. Not knowng much about the disease or how bizzare it was i would listen to any suggestions they could offer me.
I came to the conclusion about a year ago that main stream medicine can do nothing for this disease. Doctors have not been properly trainned to look for such as strange and debltating disesae. Insted they are taught to "look out" for skin pickers and those who just what the attention. In these case they can easily prescribe the wrong type of treatment - bcause they don't know any better...The sad thing is most believe they are doing the right thing.
Their trainning does not allow them to see the disease they only see the skin part. To try and explain the affects of this disease you will hit a wall immediately.
Try and keep yourself physically active and not let the emotional side of it get the better...Do things which you enjoy and move away from the thing which taxs the brain until it is a little clearer.
Awake
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Post by amron on Dec 31, 2009 8:42:32 GMT -5
It gets confusing at times for me, I guess not being able to spell the smallest words. I look at words and they seem strange, foreign to me. I cant understand why spelling is so burdensome, and why my mind thinks words are strange, and the spelling is not for real. My balance is super bad, I'm doing a lot of bumping into things. If I cut the tips of my hair when it its wandering around it gives me peace, and my nose and ears dont itch, I get a reprive. I'm going to have mighty short hair if I use this remedy for long. Fibers are cycleing, a new batch is floating around. I'm a night owl this week, and I need to get on schedule. Have a good one. Amron
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Post by amron on Mar 7, 2010 5:34:02 GMT -5
I dont like to acknowledge the increased of new symptom's. I need to talk about the clear, silky, sticky fluid, that emerge's when I pick at lesions. It's like a liquid bandage covering a large area. It completely covers and protects the skin. When I soak my hand's a milky looking fluid drops out and change's the water to merky slimey, clouded stuff. I need your feed back.
Now the latest new arrival, is visional. It's like an alter preception, or what ever, it appears after dusk in low light. Murky dust looking foggy atmosphere's. It has the feel of an Aura, last for only a shortime, minute or so. Weird! I am not becoming unhinged over it, but I told my shrink, I have no drugs onboard that could cause it. Having a heavy week end, grappling with fear of morphing. Cant talk to anyone about it. Thanks
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awake
Full Member
For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom.
Posts: 191
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Post by awake on Mar 7, 2010 21:57:19 GMT -5
Well i'm not too good myself. The Symptoms keep changing and becomig worse over time. You don't have to acknowledge it to anyone and certainly not mention it to those who don't grasp what this morgellons is all about.
Even the most open minded well have difficultly believing in this. Telling the family is an immidate no-no too as it only cause more pain. Most doctor without knowing any better will conclude it's a "delusional" problem. Saddly i think they actually believe that their patients are mentally ill... I don't see this changing eiher.
As for lesions I have a few spare lesions, but i don't have what you talk about with my leisons. My lesions don't ooze any fluid and i have not gotten any covering on the lesions yet.... I hope i don't , but given the progession and the history i know it can appear to lie dorment for months and then suddenly the skin symptoms will erupt. I don't know why it can bceome quite and then a month or so later the symptoms intensify.
The troubling thing about it is with each new emergence of symptons they get steadly worse and more intense each time. I know from when i first noticed i had this that it feels a lot "bigger" than in the beginning. I know also that the chemistry of my body has changed.
The morphing bit is partically scary becuase of the unkowns involved. This thing has the ability to alter eveything about who we are and how we see ourselves... It's an invasion of the entire body.
If you what to go down the rabbit hole then look into transhumanism, nanotechnlogy and gmo and artificial live and such... That is where this thing is at. Sound like science fiction, but the truth is stranger than fiction i believe. I have aleady posted lot on these subjects. go and find them.
Don't fear it though. We are better than this and it is not worth being afriad of. We are also better then the evil which created this. Don't give it credit becuse it don't dereve any. Strengthen your self with faith even if you don't believe in god... I believe and it's what gives me hope i will beat this. I am not going to sit down and worry i just pray it will be taken away.
Awake
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