Post by aligator on Jan 11, 2007 4:07:19 GMT -5
okay I'm brave, here goes
My name is Alisha, Ali for short. My two year old daughter and I are both infected. I am 30 years old, last year I could pass for about 18, maybe younger, but that's not the case anymore. I grew up in Seattle Washington, was very athletic all of my life, and am close with my family. Although I haven't felt quite right for about 5 years, this last year was the worst, and most unusual. Prior to moving to a small town, less than 1000 people, I owned a pet salon which I loved, in Seattle. I worked my hiney off every day, but it never seemed like work. Last year about this time I came down with a sickness that could only be described as unbelievable. My energy felt like it had been drained out of me and muscles that I didn't know I had were strained and pulsing with pain. I thought that I was working too much and too stressed out from being a mom, gosh, and so many other things that were going on in my life. And then came the lesions, the fibers, the brainfog, the chest and heart pains, the vertigo, the panic attacks, and finally the isolation. At the time I could afford to let my employee's run the shop while I got better, but guess what, I never did. Doctors were of no help, nor the dermatologists. I even had one doctor go as far as diagnose DOP over the phone. A family oncologist whom my parents have known for 35 years! Six months ago my husband and I decided to sell the business and move to the country. Animals are my passion, but my health was more important. I left my mom and dad behind, needless to say they were a little upset that their only grandchild was to be so far away. It's the little things like that that get to me. I was born on my fathers birthday, he always said I was the best birthday present he ever got. I'm scared to visit because he might unwrap his little birthday girl present now, and be mortified at what he saw. I look like a shell of my former self. Some have called me beautiful, and I did cry alot in the beginning because of how I looked,but as they say beauty is only skin deep, I realize now that your body houses your soul. This last year has been trying and confusing. There have been times where I have screamed in agony of what has happened to me, that I want my life back, that the way I am acting is not the person I am. On your tombstone there lies a dash, two dates on opposite sides. I want that dash to mean something, to mean everything. It seems that Morgellons stops you in your tracks. It will rob and steal everything and every body, if you let it. The harder you try to get rid of it, the more it takes. Like most of you reading this, I was so confused about what was going on, I turned to the internet for research. And then came the day where I found out what Morgellons was. I dropped to my knees in front of my daughter and cried like I have never cried before, with her baby hands comforting me. Shortly after that was a very shakey call to the CDC. I have never in my life been that frightened as I was that day. Two weeks ago my mother in law made a hair appointment for me, gave me a gift certificate and a smile, hoping that I would get out of the house. She is upset with me right now because I cancelled it. I did not have the heart to tell her that there are sores all over my scalp and some of my hair is falling out. A hair stylist is the last person I want to see. I know she meant well, and I have tried to explain my situation, but she is still angry. Like I said, it is the little things that bother me. What I have realized lately is that you might be weak and sick, but your spirit is untouchable by sickness. Only you have controll over your spirit, your soul. If you give it permission to go down the dark path, it will. For me, I am stronger than my sickness. My flame will burn bright. I am not Morgellons Disease. I will not let a disease define me, I absolutely forbid it.
I am getting better every day, although each is a battle in some way or another, and I try to stay positive, even though it is difficult at times. But always I remember that I am strong, and beautiful inside, caring and giving, and try as it might, Morgellons can never take that away from me, ever!
Love to everyone out there
You all mean so much
Ali
Through Holly's eyes
Nice to meet you, my name is Holly. My mom is Ali and she said that even though I'm just a toddler, I still have a voice so I get to say sometheing here too. I have had really bad unexplained rashes since I was 6 months old. I have been to many doctors, not all of them were so nice to me, and they said it was excema or a diaper rash. My mom was brought up to respect her elders and went along with what the doctors said until my last visit, she questioned the doctors knowledge and we were asked not to come back. I am a social butterfly and love to be around others. I like to introduce myself to every person I meet, I like to see them smile. I have good manners and say please and thank you because it makes people laugh. I am a goofball and love it. Morgellons makes me sad though. Halloween was fun until I got home and couldn't enjoy my candy, I cried the whole night. I ask every day for that candy, but mamma always says no. I love to sing and dance and can't wait until the day I am big enough to go to the dance studio in town, but for now mamma and I just put on the workout videos and that seems to keep me going until nap time. I am learning to use the potty chair and mommy finds all sorts of neat fibers in the bowl. I wonder what they are myself. Is that what is making us sick? I still have sores on me. They are every where and they only slow me down just a little. I take my vitamins and get to take really cool baths. The night time is hard for me. Every night I fight not to go to bed because of the monsters that tickle me. It's scary, so mamma bought me some fish and she stays up every night with me while we talk to the fish until I get so sleepy I can't keep my eyes open. I know she goes and sleeps with daddy but every morning when I wake up she is there in my room with me. That makes me feel better. There is a program in town for toddlers my age called Little Seeds. I hope I get better soon so I can go and play, and I am also looking forward to preschool, if I can go. Mommy teaches me at home because she is worried that I might be contagious. I am wiser than my mom thinks, I am her rock and inspiration. She always says that I should've been named Grace because I reminder her so much of it.
Eskimo and butterfly kisses to all of you
Holly Afton H.
My name is Alisha, Ali for short. My two year old daughter and I are both infected. I am 30 years old, last year I could pass for about 18, maybe younger, but that's not the case anymore. I grew up in Seattle Washington, was very athletic all of my life, and am close with my family. Although I haven't felt quite right for about 5 years, this last year was the worst, and most unusual. Prior to moving to a small town, less than 1000 people, I owned a pet salon which I loved, in Seattle. I worked my hiney off every day, but it never seemed like work. Last year about this time I came down with a sickness that could only be described as unbelievable. My energy felt like it had been drained out of me and muscles that I didn't know I had were strained and pulsing with pain. I thought that I was working too much and too stressed out from being a mom, gosh, and so many other things that were going on in my life. And then came the lesions, the fibers, the brainfog, the chest and heart pains, the vertigo, the panic attacks, and finally the isolation. At the time I could afford to let my employee's run the shop while I got better, but guess what, I never did. Doctors were of no help, nor the dermatologists. I even had one doctor go as far as diagnose DOP over the phone. A family oncologist whom my parents have known for 35 years! Six months ago my husband and I decided to sell the business and move to the country. Animals are my passion, but my health was more important. I left my mom and dad behind, needless to say they were a little upset that their only grandchild was to be so far away. It's the little things like that that get to me. I was born on my fathers birthday, he always said I was the best birthday present he ever got. I'm scared to visit because he might unwrap his little birthday girl present now, and be mortified at what he saw. I look like a shell of my former self. Some have called me beautiful, and I did cry alot in the beginning because of how I looked,but as they say beauty is only skin deep, I realize now that your body houses your soul. This last year has been trying and confusing. There have been times where I have screamed in agony of what has happened to me, that I want my life back, that the way I am acting is not the person I am. On your tombstone there lies a dash, two dates on opposite sides. I want that dash to mean something, to mean everything. It seems that Morgellons stops you in your tracks. It will rob and steal everything and every body, if you let it. The harder you try to get rid of it, the more it takes. Like most of you reading this, I was so confused about what was going on, I turned to the internet for research. And then came the day where I found out what Morgellons was. I dropped to my knees in front of my daughter and cried like I have never cried before, with her baby hands comforting me. Shortly after that was a very shakey call to the CDC. I have never in my life been that frightened as I was that day. Two weeks ago my mother in law made a hair appointment for me, gave me a gift certificate and a smile, hoping that I would get out of the house. She is upset with me right now because I cancelled it. I did not have the heart to tell her that there are sores all over my scalp and some of my hair is falling out. A hair stylist is the last person I want to see. I know she meant well, and I have tried to explain my situation, but she is still angry. Like I said, it is the little things that bother me. What I have realized lately is that you might be weak and sick, but your spirit is untouchable by sickness. Only you have controll over your spirit, your soul. If you give it permission to go down the dark path, it will. For me, I am stronger than my sickness. My flame will burn bright. I am not Morgellons Disease. I will not let a disease define me, I absolutely forbid it.
I am getting better every day, although each is a battle in some way or another, and I try to stay positive, even though it is difficult at times. But always I remember that I am strong, and beautiful inside, caring and giving, and try as it might, Morgellons can never take that away from me, ever!
Love to everyone out there
You all mean so much
Ali
Through Holly's eyes
Nice to meet you, my name is Holly. My mom is Ali and she said that even though I'm just a toddler, I still have a voice so I get to say sometheing here too. I have had really bad unexplained rashes since I was 6 months old. I have been to many doctors, not all of them were so nice to me, and they said it was excema or a diaper rash. My mom was brought up to respect her elders and went along with what the doctors said until my last visit, she questioned the doctors knowledge and we were asked not to come back. I am a social butterfly and love to be around others. I like to introduce myself to every person I meet, I like to see them smile. I have good manners and say please and thank you because it makes people laugh. I am a goofball and love it. Morgellons makes me sad though. Halloween was fun until I got home and couldn't enjoy my candy, I cried the whole night. I ask every day for that candy, but mamma always says no. I love to sing and dance and can't wait until the day I am big enough to go to the dance studio in town, but for now mamma and I just put on the workout videos and that seems to keep me going until nap time. I am learning to use the potty chair and mommy finds all sorts of neat fibers in the bowl. I wonder what they are myself. Is that what is making us sick? I still have sores on me. They are every where and they only slow me down just a little. I take my vitamins and get to take really cool baths. The night time is hard for me. Every night I fight not to go to bed because of the monsters that tickle me. It's scary, so mamma bought me some fish and she stays up every night with me while we talk to the fish until I get so sleepy I can't keep my eyes open. I know she goes and sleeps with daddy but every morning when I wake up she is there in my room with me. That makes me feel better. There is a program in town for toddlers my age called Little Seeds. I hope I get better soon so I can go and play, and I am also looking forward to preschool, if I can go. Mommy teaches me at home because she is worried that I might be contagious. I am wiser than my mom thinks, I am her rock and inspiration. She always says that I should've been named Grace because I reminder her so much of it.
Eskimo and butterfly kisses to all of you
Holly Afton H.