Post by whiterose on Jan 14, 2007 15:20:24 GMT -5
Where to begin, I contracted Morgellons 25 years ago at the age of 22, I have lived longer with it, than without. It started when I moved to a small town in Utah, less than a quarter of a mile from the sewage plant, (didn't know that until after I became ill). My husband and I purchased a new home in a new subdivision, I had one little girl 3 years of age and was excited to be a full time mom and looking forward to having another child. I gave birth to a new little girl about a year later, was going to have a tubal, but it had to be put off while I attended to my husband in SLC, who had went in for kidney stones. My little one was only two weeks old, and we had had problems with her, it seems someone gave me something they shouldn't have, at least that is what a nurse whispered in my ear while I was in the hospital bed. After my husband came home, I went in for a tubal, 3 weeks after that I found out I was pregnant again. I carried the baby for about six months, all the time having strange sores on my body. My husbands personality seemed to be changing the whole time, he became very aggressive. After losing the baby, my life went into a tailspin, one thing after another. I got an itchy spot on my leg, one scratch and it opened to a green infected looking mucous. I didn't sleep for so long, finally it went away, I did have my aunt who worked at the pharmacy look at it, and suggest several things, nothing worked and much of it seemed to make it worse. Then came the one on my arm, same kind of itchy spot, I didn't scratch it as the one on my leg seemed to have healed in such an abnormal way(it is still discolored). I was working in the yard and looked down and it was opened up and I could see a black plastic looking thing that was laying horizontal in my arm, so I went inside to remove whatever it was and put neosporin on it with a few band aids as it was about 3 inches long and 2 inches wide. I grabbed the tweezers and again looked at the black fiber in my arm, it looked like a black fishing line. I reached in and grabbed it with the tweezers and when I pulled, it pulled back at the same time in the upper part of my arm something squeezed so hard that it dropped me to my knees, and black oil type sweat began pouring off of me. All of this time I am going to dr. after dr. until I finally gave up on them. The first doctors reaction was, the d**n government now what have they done?
My finger seemed to be pointing in two directions at one time as to how I was infected, the sewage plant main culprit, however, something else happened, there was a National Guardsman that died after being out on training, he was the only one to get sick in his unit and die, that I knew of. This all happened when the sewage plant turned fluorescent red, (this was a rumor, I never saw it but it fits). They said the man died of Hanta, which that area is known for now, but what if the man carried something the army didn't want to dispose of upstate for whatever reason, maybe stronger controls, what if, what he carried made him ill and it wasn't Hanta. What if this wasn't the first time, what have they DONE?
At one point I remember having a hard time waking from sleep, my body felt to me as though I must have a temp, but it didn't register one. I would have nightmares that were so bad, I got to the point I didn't want to sleep, for two reasons, one waking back up was so difficult and the other the horrible dreams. I also had Candida so bad in every part of my body, of course it didn't exist at that time in the medical books, so doctors wouldn't treat it.
I remember my youngest just being able to sit up and putting her in the tub with the oldest. I bent down and started running the water, all the time having my hand under the faucet but my eyes were on my girls. They started screaming it was to hot, I grabbed them and pulled them out quickly and looked at the faucet and saw the steam. My husband came in and called me crazy, but the water felt almost cold to me. I got to where I didn't trust myself, I was afraid I would hurt them not meaning to.
I began to think about killing myself, because what good was I, I remember driving to the top of a mountain over looking the city, but I knew if I did this, my girls would never know the truth and I have waited so long for the truth and my other thought, what if they have it, I love them so much.
My family all but disowned me during this period of time, the sun had become my enemy and I wore dark glasses as my eyes were so sensitive to the light. I was accused by everyone of doing drugs and I wasn't. The sores got so bad on my body that I would only shop in the middle of the night. Which had its own problems. The electronic eye would not register me,
I saw children smaller than myself (I'm 4' 11") go in the store. So I would go to the store and wait until I saw someone entering, so I could get through. One night , no one came, after about an hour waiting in the car, I went and saw the clerk and motioned them over to open the door for me. I kept loosing weight, between the vomiting and the diarrhea, I dropped to 65lbs. I did purchase some stuff for my electrolytes.
I finally decided I had to leave until I could come to terms with what was happening.
I left for awhile but went back, I missed my children so much. I could hardly understand what happened to me, by now I was in remission. I started to get different sores that rotated around my body. This time I went to the public health who tried to tell me it was spiders. I walked the neighborhood and found others ill, but this was different (or so it seemed). The more I learn the more I realize it could all be part of the same scenario. Perhaps what it is, is nano and mycoplasma combined, a sort of Russian Doll affect. I got people active, had a community meeting. Wrote letters to the editor. Finally when I saw some bumps on my youngest daughter, I gave up, boxed everything up and told my neighbors that nothing is worth this, no home, no property. I was gone that day and only returned once to show a friend the home I left.
She couldn't believe the beautiful home I walked out of.
The last thing that happened that was not felt by me at other times. I felt a spray in and on my brain. It was like a gentle rinsing spray like from the dentist. No burning, no pain, yet I really thought something else would happen, it didn't. I have had seizures on and off for about 10 years. Since my last full blown attack in May of this year, the seizures have left me, at least for now. I live with my knowledge I have learned from natural healing, not cured, but am able to live a somewhat normal
half life as I call it. I see myself holding my grand children without the concern of giving them this awful affliction one day. Walking in the sun until I drop from being too tired, not from the exhaustion caused by the disease.
My oldest is giving birth in the morning to a little girl.
I am very lucky and blessed to have made it this far and pray I have not inadvertently affected others. I hold all those that come here close to my heart, as I have experienced almost everything they have spoke of. Here is a BIG HUG for them and for sho, Hildy and Karjoo.
God Bless you all,
whiterose
Please forgive me on time frames of things, as much of it is a blur, the folks here with brain fog, know what I mean. All these things happened plus a great deal more.
My finger seemed to be pointing in two directions at one time as to how I was infected, the sewage plant main culprit, however, something else happened, there was a National Guardsman that died after being out on training, he was the only one to get sick in his unit and die, that I knew of. This all happened when the sewage plant turned fluorescent red, (this was a rumor, I never saw it but it fits). They said the man died of Hanta, which that area is known for now, but what if the man carried something the army didn't want to dispose of upstate for whatever reason, maybe stronger controls, what if, what he carried made him ill and it wasn't Hanta. What if this wasn't the first time, what have they DONE?
At one point I remember having a hard time waking from sleep, my body felt to me as though I must have a temp, but it didn't register one. I would have nightmares that were so bad, I got to the point I didn't want to sleep, for two reasons, one waking back up was so difficult and the other the horrible dreams. I also had Candida so bad in every part of my body, of course it didn't exist at that time in the medical books, so doctors wouldn't treat it.
I remember my youngest just being able to sit up and putting her in the tub with the oldest. I bent down and started running the water, all the time having my hand under the faucet but my eyes were on my girls. They started screaming it was to hot, I grabbed them and pulled them out quickly and looked at the faucet and saw the steam. My husband came in and called me crazy, but the water felt almost cold to me. I got to where I didn't trust myself, I was afraid I would hurt them not meaning to.
I began to think about killing myself, because what good was I, I remember driving to the top of a mountain over looking the city, but I knew if I did this, my girls would never know the truth and I have waited so long for the truth and my other thought, what if they have it, I love them so much.
My family all but disowned me during this period of time, the sun had become my enemy and I wore dark glasses as my eyes were so sensitive to the light. I was accused by everyone of doing drugs and I wasn't. The sores got so bad on my body that I would only shop in the middle of the night. Which had its own problems. The electronic eye would not register me,
I saw children smaller than myself (I'm 4' 11") go in the store. So I would go to the store and wait until I saw someone entering, so I could get through. One night , no one came, after about an hour waiting in the car, I went and saw the clerk and motioned them over to open the door for me. I kept loosing weight, between the vomiting and the diarrhea, I dropped to 65lbs. I did purchase some stuff for my electrolytes.
I finally decided I had to leave until I could come to terms with what was happening.
I left for awhile but went back, I missed my children so much. I could hardly understand what happened to me, by now I was in remission. I started to get different sores that rotated around my body. This time I went to the public health who tried to tell me it was spiders. I walked the neighborhood and found others ill, but this was different (or so it seemed). The more I learn the more I realize it could all be part of the same scenario. Perhaps what it is, is nano and mycoplasma combined, a sort of Russian Doll affect. I got people active, had a community meeting. Wrote letters to the editor. Finally when I saw some bumps on my youngest daughter, I gave up, boxed everything up and told my neighbors that nothing is worth this, no home, no property. I was gone that day and only returned once to show a friend the home I left.
She couldn't believe the beautiful home I walked out of.
The last thing that happened that was not felt by me at other times. I felt a spray in and on my brain. It was like a gentle rinsing spray like from the dentist. No burning, no pain, yet I really thought something else would happen, it didn't. I have had seizures on and off for about 10 years. Since my last full blown attack in May of this year, the seizures have left me, at least for now. I live with my knowledge I have learned from natural healing, not cured, but am able to live a somewhat normal
half life as I call it. I see myself holding my grand children without the concern of giving them this awful affliction one day. Walking in the sun until I drop from being too tired, not from the exhaustion caused by the disease.
My oldest is giving birth in the morning to a little girl.
I am very lucky and blessed to have made it this far and pray I have not inadvertently affected others. I hold all those that come here close to my heart, as I have experienced almost everything they have spoke of. Here is a BIG HUG for them and for sho, Hildy and Karjoo.
God Bless you all,
whiterose
Please forgive me on time frames of things, as much of it is a blur, the folks here with brain fog, know what I mean. All these things happened plus a great deal more.