Post by 0happyday on Jun 3, 2007 1:40:07 GMT -5
I know that we all have wondered many times in our lives what
was/is our purpose. I have always known that God had a reason for everything that has ever happened to me. I am very hard headed and many times I have allowed shame to keep me from doing what God was asking of me.
This will be quite lengthy, and there is no way I can tell my story in one night, maybe even one year. Therefore I will continue to to write as long as God wants me to, for he will guide my words and reveal my purpose.
I can not tell you how many times in the last several years that I have heard God say, "Tell your story!" I was afraid, ashamed, overwhelmed, but most of all, I had been so severely abused by the medical community that there was absolutely no fight left. And man that is saying something for me.
I ask only one thing, not for me, but for my children and my dear friends and their children, PLEASE tell 0ur stories.
Please don't let our lives be in vain.
I will start at the end of the story, for it is my statement.
Six months ago I was fortunate enough to meet a LPN fresh out of nursing school who has helped many sick people over many years of her incomparable compassion and kindness. She was determined to help me in my desperate attempt for treatment.
She left no stones unturned and after 5 years of seeing every doctor imaginable, she ordered a long overdue mammogram.
The results came back saying that one of the implants that I had put in 24 years ago after breast feeding my first child for 15 months had ruptured. She immediately sent me to a cancer center who scheduled me for and MRI and consult with a surgeon. I first went to the doctor who had originally put them in and was told that he knew someone whose had been ruptured for 10 years and she was not sick. He told me he had never heard of Morgellons yet the other day I came across the treatment statement and noticed that under diagnosis he had written
Morgellons Dis, at which point he marked out the Dis and added Syndrome. He explained that he was going to be out with some surgery and to call him back in 8 weeks if I still wanted them removed. I left the letter for the class action lawsuit and after a couple of weeks of trying to get the form was told that several years back they had put their med records on disc and had lost a lot of information. They also contacted the hospital who says I had never been seen there prior to 1987. Implants were put in in 82.
I have now been told that the hospital shredded my records because they were only responsible to keep them for 10 years.
Next was my MRI and 2 days later the appt with the surgeon.
This surgeon started by telling me that my Medicare was not going to pay for the explantation because it was considered cosmetic and that when I came up with the money to let them know. He then went to get the results of the MRI and came in the room and told me that both had ruptured and the outer part had completely fell apart. Also they needed to be removed immediately.
That night I called in to the Rob O'Connell show and spoke with Dr Hildy. As soon as I got off the radio one of my Angels from this board called and talked to me for quite a while. The next day I felt so alone. I had no idea what I was going to do. I took out my Bible, and again like so many times before, my faith was affirmed, because my whole life when I went to my Bible for answers, the very page that I turned to was where God led me in my search for validation. I turned to the book of "Habakkuk". I would STRONGLY suggest you read it. I had a very humbling talk with God that night, from the depths of my soul I asked for help, not for my sake but for my little girls. I will probably later talk about feelings but for now I will refrain.
On Saturday my dear friends here started calling. The Angels here on this board whom I have never seen their faces, networked back and forth across the country offering prayers and support. But they didn't stop there where most people do. They directed me to lady who knew exactly what I was going through. Who provided a step by step list of who to call what to do, and what services that I could get to help with my situation. The HOURS upon HOURS of calls that have been made to me from all over the country letting me know of all the arrangements that have been made to provide help. I will go into more detail when I receive their permission to use their names. And I would hope that they will allow me to because they deserve the recognition for their selflessness and the insurmountable help that they have provided to me.
And now for the rest of the story;
On Thursday of this week, I left home and went to my 6 year olds field day. I left there and drove to the airport to meet a pilot with
"Angel Flight" a group of pilots all over the country who volunteer their planes, time, and gas. to fly people with medical needs and no money for medical treatment. I tried to come up with enough money for a motel because the pilots normally don't fly at night. Headed home after several disappointments I began to cry and then told myself to trust God he would provide a way. When I got home the pilot had called to confirm the flight and told me that if I would like he would wait there and fly me back that night. Wow does God come through. He flew me 300 miles away to see a Specialist.
I cannot tell the rest of the story with feelings right now,
only fact.
The Surgeon looked at me and said "you are a very, very sick lady, (I know she must have told me that 6 times.) I would not even attempt to operate on you now, you are too sick. We have to get you a lot better before we can operate and I'm not sure I would even be comfortable with general anesthesia" Also She told me she would not operate unless they could raise my body temperature up by 1. something degrees.
I had gone to this surgeon because unlike the other 2 surgeons she not only believed silicone could make you sick but could do something to at least, possibly cosmetic so you didn't look so bad. She then told me reconstruction was not an option. That all lymph nodes will be removed as well as any tissue that has silicone in it. I can also look forward to nodules starting to come up in muscles from the silicone and they would have to be removed.
I remember asking her in my mind jokingly and she said " You are a Very, very sick lady. That's all for now I can't talk anymore.
was/is our purpose. I have always known that God had a reason for everything that has ever happened to me. I am very hard headed and many times I have allowed shame to keep me from doing what God was asking of me.
This will be quite lengthy, and there is no way I can tell my story in one night, maybe even one year. Therefore I will continue to to write as long as God wants me to, for he will guide my words and reveal my purpose.
I can not tell you how many times in the last several years that I have heard God say, "Tell your story!" I was afraid, ashamed, overwhelmed, but most of all, I had been so severely abused by the medical community that there was absolutely no fight left. And man that is saying something for me.
I ask only one thing, not for me, but for my children and my dear friends and their children, PLEASE tell 0ur stories.
Please don't let our lives be in vain.
I will start at the end of the story, for it is my statement.
Six months ago I was fortunate enough to meet a LPN fresh out of nursing school who has helped many sick people over many years of her incomparable compassion and kindness. She was determined to help me in my desperate attempt for treatment.
She left no stones unturned and after 5 years of seeing every doctor imaginable, she ordered a long overdue mammogram.
The results came back saying that one of the implants that I had put in 24 years ago after breast feeding my first child for 15 months had ruptured. She immediately sent me to a cancer center who scheduled me for and MRI and consult with a surgeon. I first went to the doctor who had originally put them in and was told that he knew someone whose had been ruptured for 10 years and she was not sick. He told me he had never heard of Morgellons yet the other day I came across the treatment statement and noticed that under diagnosis he had written
Morgellons Dis, at which point he marked out the Dis and added Syndrome. He explained that he was going to be out with some surgery and to call him back in 8 weeks if I still wanted them removed. I left the letter for the class action lawsuit and after a couple of weeks of trying to get the form was told that several years back they had put their med records on disc and had lost a lot of information. They also contacted the hospital who says I had never been seen there prior to 1987. Implants were put in in 82.
I have now been told that the hospital shredded my records because they were only responsible to keep them for 10 years.
Next was my MRI and 2 days later the appt with the surgeon.
This surgeon started by telling me that my Medicare was not going to pay for the explantation because it was considered cosmetic and that when I came up with the money to let them know. He then went to get the results of the MRI and came in the room and told me that both had ruptured and the outer part had completely fell apart. Also they needed to be removed immediately.
That night I called in to the Rob O'Connell show and spoke with Dr Hildy. As soon as I got off the radio one of my Angels from this board called and talked to me for quite a while. The next day I felt so alone. I had no idea what I was going to do. I took out my Bible, and again like so many times before, my faith was affirmed, because my whole life when I went to my Bible for answers, the very page that I turned to was where God led me in my search for validation. I turned to the book of "Habakkuk". I would STRONGLY suggest you read it. I had a very humbling talk with God that night, from the depths of my soul I asked for help, not for my sake but for my little girls. I will probably later talk about feelings but for now I will refrain.
On Saturday my dear friends here started calling. The Angels here on this board whom I have never seen their faces, networked back and forth across the country offering prayers and support. But they didn't stop there where most people do. They directed me to lady who knew exactly what I was going through. Who provided a step by step list of who to call what to do, and what services that I could get to help with my situation. The HOURS upon HOURS of calls that have been made to me from all over the country letting me know of all the arrangements that have been made to provide help. I will go into more detail when I receive their permission to use their names. And I would hope that they will allow me to because they deserve the recognition for their selflessness and the insurmountable help that they have provided to me.
And now for the rest of the story;
On Thursday of this week, I left home and went to my 6 year olds field day. I left there and drove to the airport to meet a pilot with
"Angel Flight" a group of pilots all over the country who volunteer their planes, time, and gas. to fly people with medical needs and no money for medical treatment. I tried to come up with enough money for a motel because the pilots normally don't fly at night. Headed home after several disappointments I began to cry and then told myself to trust God he would provide a way. When I got home the pilot had called to confirm the flight and told me that if I would like he would wait there and fly me back that night. Wow does God come through. He flew me 300 miles away to see a Specialist.
I cannot tell the rest of the story with feelings right now,
only fact.
The Surgeon looked at me and said "you are a very, very sick lady, (I know she must have told me that 6 times.) I would not even attempt to operate on you now, you are too sick. We have to get you a lot better before we can operate and I'm not sure I would even be comfortable with general anesthesia" Also She told me she would not operate unless they could raise my body temperature up by 1. something degrees.
I had gone to this surgeon because unlike the other 2 surgeons she not only believed silicone could make you sick but could do something to at least, possibly cosmetic so you didn't look so bad. She then told me reconstruction was not an option. That all lymph nodes will be removed as well as any tissue that has silicone in it. I can also look forward to nodules starting to come up in muscles from the silicone and they would have to be removed.
I remember asking her in my mind jokingly and she said " You are a Very, very sick lady. That's all for now I can't talk anymore.